hmm... 2 seasons of sex and the city... man comes and go from carrie's life.. Mr big, commitment-phobic and Aidan Shaw..he's the perfect opposite to the commitment-phobic, hard to pin down Mr. Big.




Who wouldn't love a guy who says: "I have a life, I'm just making room for you in it," or "You make me happy," or even "Let's get you a donut.

Aidan is perfectly what a girl wants, the slow smile, the twinkle in his eyes, the sweet saying that make my heart melt in front of computer... he's so warm and he's seems so perfect... but, he's not meant for Carrie.. and again, got tears in my eyes, when Carrie told him that she'e been cheating with Mr big.. how can someone hurt a perfect guy like that.. and well, it leave a big scar in his heart..

it made me realise.. that no matter how sweet that guy, if he's not meant for you.. it just meant nothing..

guy are so complicated.. 20 years of life taught me a lot of thing and i can tell myself there's more to come..but, i had enough of that non-sense at the moment.. i've been down the road once or probably twice.. and the result : i'm single and i love being a single gal, studying medicine, love soccer and f1 + the good-looking men i can laid my eyes.. i just not in the zone looking for a guy...

why should i put myself into the emotional turmoil.. i've survived the first one without a scar and i did it with flying colours.. hey! you can't stay with a guy who ask you to choose between him and studying medicine at monash university (with scholarship!).. plus, he's already in a search for a girl while i'm still busy packing my stuff.. life worth more than what-so-called-love!

yea, guys.. when they need you, you're like their goddess queen... when they're over with you.. you can find yourself in the did-we-go-out-on-date-and-spend-all-night-on-phone? zone and then came out with 'we-just-friend' bullshit. that's really shitty i can tell you.. he can go F##$% with his sweet-toothy-mouth... i had a bigger world in front of me and i had my other friend to share it with me than his 'brotherhood' stuff...

then came the lowest point of all... i thought i had a friend.. but, i realised i was the only one who are doing the friendly stuff.. i am the only one who boost to people that i had a great 'male' friend that i can share my story.. i am the only one who bother to send an e-mail, making myself look stupid with my non-sense story.. i am the only one who call in the middle of night and wanting to have a friend to talk to.. i am the only who bother to say Hi on the messenger coz i'm afraid that if i dont drop a word, i'm considered a very bad friend who doesnt bother to talk to someone i consider my best-friend..

somehow, it hit me! i am the only one who need this friendship.. why should i put myself in this situation... why stressing myself for someone who doesnt even try to understadn despite claiming 11 years of friendship.. i got 30 years and more of life that wait for me .. why should i screwed my mind and put my study in danger and my emotion on a breakdown.. if i can get out from the past 2 encounter.. i can do better than this..


like carrie.. no matter how nice the guy is.. if he's not THE guy.. it cannot work out.. even as a friend.. it need both two person two make things work.. i had my own rule of friendship and he just broke it this time.. and i dont know how to mend it myself..

and for THE guy of my dream (i had no idea what type my dream guy will be!).. i just haven't found him yet.. even if we happen to meet or we happen to be a friend or he happen to be in front of me yesterday, the day before and the day before.. i just haven't found him yet..

for the moment.. i just looking forward to entertain myself with leisure of working my butt off the rest of the MED course..

!!PEACE!!

The truth is rarely pure and never simple

Oscar Wilde,
The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895, Act I

♥ ♥ ♥ aJLa I'm no angel.. and i manage to remain alive in my own quirky way

"Look at the stars, and not the reflection of the moon."

*having my wickest dream come true *hint* dvz *hint*
*not to kill anyone as a doctor
*a person who can swept me off my feet