after a teary phone call iwth my mom... i juts got what i need at this moment.. my motivation to study for the exam.. i'm just loosing it minute by minute with this fever and here comes my mom, and it doesnt it cheap way!!

no, it's not my lack of motivation study that cause a waterfall between us.. it's not really about me.. it's about my troublesome sister that seems always get herself into trouble.. this is not the sister that i always mention.. this is the different one.. she is different from any of us.. what way? all the way!!

and when i call her to talk about it, i just felt that i was talking to a big rock or stone!!! she wasnt even listening to what i'm saying.. all she thinks that i'm the perfect child, the one that parents love and she's the bad one and nobody loved her.. how can she thinks like that? of all the trouble that she's been causing, she still get away with it.. and my dad still get the heart to send her to a private college despite the obvious truth that she cant make it in terms of academic thingy!! what pissed me off, when she told me that she doesnt like to go home and hear it's all about kak La.. i dont blame my father for talking and she shouldn't blame him so coz it's her fault that my father start talking like that in the first place.. she should know that she shouldn't meddle anything with my father.. and it's not my fault that i got straight A's in any of my exams.. does i have to fail my exam just to get her feel loved by us?

i dont think i'm the one that my dad loved the most.. any of us would agree that my dad love Hadi very2 much... we are big enough to see how Hadi got all the big attetntion, even Hannan can't match it.. and Hadi is not considered bright, my dad have to go through all his homework before he can call the night of.. and my dad even make hadi cried just because Hadi cant solve a simple math calculation.. that's my dad.. but, i love him as he is.. no matter what other people think.. even my granparents or my uncle/auntie thinks that my father is quite odd for not being as much as friendly as they were.. although i like to go back to my grandparents home, sometimes when they talk bad things about my dad coz he's haven't got the 'religious' background in his resume, i just felt like crying coz that's my dad you're talking about.. he's not joining u guys in your usual family talks because he's not the kind of people who just talk.. he like to spend time by himselves.. not because his arrogant or not friendly..

i dont know about this people who just look highly on people that got 'religious school' or 'al-azhar' in any part of their life.. anyhting that this kind of people do is just right, acceptable.. and when i go to Australia for MBBS, my cousin who goes to the best religious school in Kelantan got much higher respect.. my cousin is nice, but, i dont like this kind of thinking from my grandma especially... if only they can stop talking bad things about my dad and my family because we're not as realigious as they want us to be..

and now, my sister doesnt make things easier for any of us.. i can expect some blacklash when i got back home..

The truth is rarely pure and never simple

Oscar Wilde,
The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895, Act I

♥ ♥ ♥ aJLa I'm no angel.. and i manage to remain alive in my own quirky way

"Look at the stars, and not the reflection of the moon."

*having my wickest dream come true *hint* dvz *hint*
*not to kill anyone as a doctor
*a person who can swept me off my feet